the fitness fight.

Fitness haunts me. True story.

I never, ever have a need to casually step on the scale, certainly not without the proper emotional preparation and definitely not after ingesting any sort of sustenance.

I become envious of the casual and easy relationship with weight I imagine other people must have.

"Let's just see here," I imagine them saying before hopping onto the scale -- probably with their shoes still on.  Devils.

People like this only ever gain or lose half a pound. They could weigh themselves immediately following Thanksgiving dinner-- with a Tupperware full of leftovers in one hand and a ham hock in the other -- and their weight would be the same give or take half a pound.

I merely breathe and gain 10. This is why my relationship with the scale is much more complicated.

My scale sits in its usual spot in the bathroom, where I will be tempted to step on it at regular intervals like an OCD homeowner repeatedly checking the locks.

And when I do step on it, I rip off every possible article of clothing -- if I could temporarily donate a kidney I would -- and then step onto the scale, close my eyes, hold my breath, say a quick prayer and look down.

If I sound neurotic -- which I do and I am -- it's because my weight has been up and down (usually more up than down) for many years of my life.  Although I was a sports nut growing up, I was still quite heavy thick fluffy.  I've lost weight -- grant it, it was due to a diseased gallbladder.  Great diet.

Then I got well and gained some back.  Then lost some.  Then gained some.  Yadda yadda.  Before I got married, I had lost a good 30-40 pounds.  After the wedding, they were showing back up like unwanted guests. 

Most of this struggle can be attributed to PCOS.  It's not awesome.  Not at all.  And because of this diagnosis, it's even harder to manage your weight.  Dirty punk.

Though I feel like I've managed to maintain a consistent weight loss since March, I'm convinced those 30 pounds are waiting -- plotting, really -- for the chance to snap back onto my body if I don't actively avoid them. To this end, I often torture myself by thinking about what I'm putting into my mouth, what I'm going to be putting into my mouth or what I already put into my mouth.

I'd recently been having one of those weeks months where I thought it best to avoid the scale, as I knew it would only lead to self-deprecation. I had just come home from vacation and told myself, I would get back to hitting the gym and then weigh in a few days.
After those days were up, I gave myself an insane pep talk and hopped on to discover I had maintained....while on vacation! 

This was impossible.  We ate like beasts!  (Of course, I'm not complaining...)

The mister and I have worked hard since March to change our lifestyle rather than "diet."  It's definitely a slow process, but it's paying off!  I've lost 12 pounds so far.  If I can continue getting my sleepy self out of bed in the mornings and going to the gym, it will improve! 

I'm pumped and ready for a healthier me.  So, here's to getting fit! 
Are you on MyFitnessPal?  Let's be friends and encourage each other.
Username: ambernhank

 

color runnin'.

I don't call myself a runner.  I am not a runner.  Does that mean I don't enjoy a good 5K!?  No, it does not!  
I AM an aspiring runner.  One day I will run and not want to die.  See #27 on my 35 Before 35.

This weekend, I took off to Dallas with my mom and two of my friends for some 5K fun!
Of course, who has the energy to run the next day if they don't partake in some amazing Mongolian food the night before? hehe.

I was the Mongolian food veteran.  YUM!

 We got back to the hotel early since we were planning on taking the DART rail to Fair Park...and that meant getting up at 5am!  That's OK though, we were geeked!

Game faces....activated!

Starbucks is always a good way to live.

The DART ride was successful and gave us time to enjoy our coffee from Starbucks.  Oh, how I love Starbucks.
We arrived at the starting line early and had time to roam around and take some pics.  Aaaaaand...I got to meet the Runicorn!!  The Color Run's unicorn mascot.  Life. Made.

White girls CAN jump.  #proof

Life. Made.  I want a unicorn.

Let's do this!

Nothing says super rad like sporting my "Happy" neck tattoo.

This was my second Color Run and it was just as much fun as the first!  We didn't let the whole "5K" aspect stop us from mid-run photo ops...

Me & the mom.  She's awesome.

It seemed like we sailed through this run faster than last time.  Before we knew it, we were at the finish line enjoying the amazing Color Run after party. 

Notice that I was the only one to MAKE her own shirt?  Oh yeah.  I'm SUPER RAD!

My before & after shot.

The posse...before & after.

Of course...

After the after party fun, this was the result.

Post after party photo op. Headed to the DART station to call it a day.

 The next Color Run in Dallas will be April 12th.  Who's gonna join me?

fitness & adhd.

Fitness.  It haunts me.

I really enjoy working out and being active.  That's the crazy part.  Unfortunately, my ADHD prevents me from enjoying most "free" activities.  Like walking.

The boredom from walking alone will put me into a coma.  I can play competitive sports all day.  I am one competitive chick.  There was a time, years ago, that I would meet up with friends after work at 7pm and play sand pit volleyball until 2:00 and 3:00am.  I require a much more social approach to fitness.  Either that, or a more fun way....like a game.

In a perfect world, I would go and purchase the arcade game of Dance Dance Revolution and put it in my house.  No lie.

FACT:  I look THIS awesome when I play.  (theboxmeister.tumblr.com)

I absolutely love to make a fool of myself playing that game.  I have a long list of friends whom I have forced to humiliate themselves right along with me.  It's a must.  The best way for a group of girls to get over themselves and just have fun.  I have the knack for not taking myself too seriously.

But not only is it fun, DDR will put the smackdown on you and never apologize.

I need that kind of approach to fitness.  Any donations would be appreciated. ;)  Until then, I'm off to the gym...